The once in a lifetime backwoods music festival known as, "Hippie-Fest", was about to go down, and your group of hitchhiking revelers planned an epic weekend road trip to celebrate the festivities!   Unfortunately, you didn't plan for everything.  After a horrible crash you find your van totaled and the driver dead.  It seems the shit has hit the fan (along with some of the driver's brain matter that is).  Examination of the van's tires reveals them to be entangled in barbed wire that continues across the road.  Oh, and to make matters worse a rather angry thunderstorm is rapidly rolling towards you in the distance. 
 
Yah, more shit...bigger fan. 

"Luckily" for you, you see the faint glowing lights of food and gas just up ahead.  Surely they will have a phone to call for help.  Surely you can find shelter to wait out the storm. Surely the operators are nice people and not hillbilly mutants that will use you as the meat in their backwoods BBQ. 
As you approach this "Tourist Trap" you start to realize that you aren't quite sure of anything anymore. 

Yes, its true that every road trip has a detour. 
Yours just seems to be getting worse by the second.